Distractions

I can’t talk to them

Every single lie I end up telling them

Haunts me

While in my head I’m screaming that

I need to get away from

Anyone who is concerned about me

Because if they find out

Everyone finds out

Now be quiet, for heaven’s sake

I can’t be too loud, because if I am,

I will attract attention

Listening to my thoughts only hurts me more

But it’s the best I can do

Falling into the abyss of a never ending nothingness

Sucks

But I must stay quiet

I must get rid of everything I have

My friends, emotions, cares

All thrown away

They’re garbage now

There’s no use for something worthless if

I’m ending my life soon

Nothing matters and nothing ever will

They’re all pointless

I will weaken myself

I am a hopeless human being

So I must make sure I remain that way

(Hurting myself, eating nothing, not exercising)

Make myself physically incapable of

Doing the things I used to enjoy

(Refuse invitations)

It doesn't matter how, I just need to stop

Loving to hate myself is

Important.

I am worthless,

And I must never forget that.

I need to feel this for as long as

Humanly possible.

This feeling breaks me,

But I don't know of anything else.

The world is scary

I mustn't trust anybody

For they will most likely betray me

And go to someone richer

Or prettier than me

Too end up laughing at me

Because I am not them.

It’s best to just stay inside.

So put on a smile

Don't show the world your

True self

Hide your face

Act okay

And people will start treating you like you are a

Normal human being, like you don't have a fucking

Personality disorder

Your emotions define you.