Distracting Thoughts of Yesterday

Distracted by thoughts of yesterday, replaying simpler times from memory, of rolling down hills and sliding on ice, of throwing snowballs and jumping off walls

it was all simpler back then, or so it seemed back then. it wasn't the worst, but it wasn't the best, internally or externally

Still, as I think back to riding my bike and doing what I like, I think about those times with mixed emotions, the good and bad, the bitter and sweet

There was always a definite shadow...a darkness...that followed me...that clouded over the good more times than I'd care to remember

Reaching out at me in the quiet of the night, when I have my guard down, tainting the sweet taste of the cake I remember so vividly

Arching over me, but never enough that I stopped and questioned it. I accepted it as part of me, the other side of me

Collapsing in on me constantly, but never without letup, just enough to keep me always looking over my shoulder

Tracking me through the years, never too far or too close, but always near

It's only now I can temper the storm around me and bite back when the shadow barks at me

Only now that I feel in control of the darkness, the everything and nothingness wrapped in one

Neutralising and nullifying it as best as I can when I can and using it to my advantage when I can't.

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Thanks for reading!

So, I decided to let the words lead me with this one too...it took some dark turns. There are some links to previous poems that connect with this one.

Here are a couple of others:

You can also take a look at the rest of my work here.