Discourse of my reality

My reality is not so real...so this is me

A man playing a man….portraying something new

But all was foretold, some would call it old news

So don’t cling to your chest…cross your heart...or hold your breathe for me

To be given the opportunity to succeed would be something new

To understand one's purpose across this world would not be old news

Reality has fled my eyes….have I blinked or winked too much as time has beseeched me

A man can only play so much but what price should he pay for something new

Eyes up...because in the few seconds the stars will speak old news

Grand stories of gods and goddess who controlled ‘gods’ illegitimate creations

Centuries old and always told of something new

Nevertheless I rest mind my knowing my presence couldn’t equate to such old news

So I chose to let go…this was me.

Past tense hence…the same iteration that’s haunts me...and leave me anew

No matter how many times I destroy myself it's common to find myself feeling like old news

Mental suicide same as mental depression but thats me

That same kid that stares sun even though it’s a star expecting something new

Crazy as it seems Im deemed to be a broken destiny but that’s old news….see

If u can…..because I cannot...I seem to never get past me

As stated before no matter how times I kill me I came back haunted but something new

Possibly a new scar...trigger ...or fear always reference to some old news

That leaves me glued to every moment until I reach the destination of me

This ride is free in hopes u avert your own and create something new

Reality is i'm broken because I miss my kids…is that old news¿

Standing staring at a yellow moon...far away from everything wishing that was me

The sadness that seeks me only seeks to destroy me sooo that’s new

Unfortunately I have already killed myself many times over and that’s old news

Reality is….this is loneliness

Of thoughts racing but my heart is slow

Some say the anticipation killed me but life did me

With no reverse…...forward is the only way

Again how much shit does one takes

Before they snap and take their own life

Revert back to the earth, because their reality was a curse

And no amount of sugar coating and smoke can cover that

So I would rather be covered in soil...to feel no more

To feel is to die…..day in day out

To need help but to never be seen

To speak and never be heard

To cry inside and never be comforted

Staring at the mirror has only provide the totality of my reality

Better off dead and left food for your reality

Because at the end of the day nobody will save me

A story of the unloved the reality of my reality