Differences

I have never truly have felt safe in your arms,

I think they were just a place to be,

While my heart was healing,

You were the unknown,

Where my curiosity got the best of me,

I landed in a place I shouldn't be,

Not to say you are a bad man, you have a kind heart,

Love your family and believes in a fresh start,

But our differences are more defining each day that passes,

Some days dating you is like looking through rose colored glasses,

Yet others I can't see through clearly at all,

Wondering if I am missing the call in my head,

Where I keep justifying why we should be together instead,

But honestly, some days I come up with nothing but tethered,

Only the reasons not to be together,

If I am no longer seeking your pleasure,

Why do I continue to be obstructed within our stormy weather,

Why are we still in it,

Is it because we both have had other who gave up on us,

Now we lack trust,

Where there could be something that means more and fits better,

Is it because we have invested our time,

Where we have crossed a line of no return,

When will we learn, relationships are hard,

But there are staples that pull two people apart,

And your happens to be the opposite of mine,

The structure I live by, money and time,

When you're over here spending your last dime,

Without thinking about what you have left,

Maybe I am cynical, maybe you're irresponsible,

Maybe I am frugal, and maybe you are giving,

But mostly we are just different,

We sit across from each other telling one another about our day,

Barely listening, but coming up with a response of what to say,

We just want to feel heard,

Want to have someone to tell our words to,

But what's the point if you follow up with some cheerleading quote,

Or I act like I am taking notes,

About conversations I want to avoid,

Something that interests you,

Creates frictions between us meant to destroy,

Your mindset verses my ways are defenseless against your way of thinking,

To me there's no point in speaking my mind, instead I start sinking,

You are not wrong for being who you are,

But I don't feel stable with you holding my heart,

It feels like they are just words to be said,

As if we are trying to feel fed with feeling loved,

Even if it doesn't feel like enough,

Yet those words you say to me don't feel like love,

Every day I decide not to change who you are to me,

The less I feel your words and feel seen,

I feel like I am signing myself up to be sentenced,

To a life of chaos, instead of recognizing our differences.