Death of a Daydreamer
An Elegy (Figuratively Speaking)
The morbid part was that we did it together
Digging side by side until we were six feet deep
We were the two sides to a coin
But only one of us was leaving there alive
You didn't even resist, just laid in the dirt
You're the dancer, not the fighter
But according to all the disapproving looks
And remarks muttered behind curtains of cupped hands
You had overstayed your welcome
I suppose there must have been something unsettling
About a grown woman laughing without restraint
The impropriety of it
I guess I should have done this many years ago
Sacrificed you back at the doorway to childhood
Before it closed, but I didn't
So with the awareness of how much I'll miss you
And with the certainty that someday I'll need you
I started filling up the hole
When the day comes I won't find you, you'll be long gone
Because I killed you to die the slow death alone
So maybe this is a mercy
Now that the deed is done I linger a moment
If roles were reversed you'd give a proper goodbye
You'd kneel in the dark dirt and cry
Then from your tears a field of wild flowers would bloom
But all that I leave you with is an unmarked grave
And a small whisper of "Sweet dreams"
About the Creator
D.K. Shepard
Character Crafter, Witty Banter Enthusiast, World Builder, Unpublished novelist...for now
Fantasy is where I thrive, but I like to experiment with genres for my short stories. Currently employed as a teacher in Louisville.
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Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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Niche topic & fresh perspectives
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Comments (22)
circling back for a belated congrats on getting honourable mention in the road drops here challenge!!
Wooohooooo congratulations on your honourable mention! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congratulations on your honorable mention, DK!
Well, if we have to murder our us to survive, so be it. No looking back, newness awaits. Beautifully done.
This is flicking a switch in my head that I thought would remain untouched!
Yippee 🥳… Leaderboard placing✅.
This reminded me of that moment when you look back and realize how much you've grown, but then you have to say good bye to the person you were... So tragically beautiful!! Congrats on honourable mention this week!!
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Very dark... It feels like a decades old war coming to an end. Well done.
This is dark and deep and terrifying, DK. I felt it like a stab in the gut. I not sure what was lost, childhood innocence? Joyful abandon? Self? But whatever it is the sting of it resonates deeply.
There is so much power and emotion in this poem. I love how your poems always have such amazing imagery, D.K.! I think this is one of my favorites.
Well-wrought! "You may say I'm a dreamer, But I'm not the only one." -John Lennon, "Imagine" It's funny how much more a tragedy it is when such a one's life is prematurely ended, but how little the same people who weep when they are gone listened when they were present and alive, and how they go on to ignore everything they said while making a symbol of everything they were! The world needs the dreamer, but doesn't tend to treat them well. The crux of my second great philosophical question: Who saves the sacrifice?
Oh wow, this is so powerful, DK! Lots of emotions to dig through here. Feels like something that needed to be written 💙
Well, I think they deserved it, personally. No one dies like that unless something has gone horribly wrong. Written beautifully, as always!
I especially loved the curtains of cupped hands. Your poem was so poignant and relatable. Loved it!
Wow. This packed punch. I hope this isn’t you turning your back on part of you. Sometimes I feel the part of you that laughs wildly and inappropriately is the best bit and keeps you going. As always though, your writing is stunning.
As everyone has commented… beautifully written & very unsettling 🤔😵💫. Encouragement to keep the ‘dreamer’ in us alive.✅
This feels like burying a piece of your soul. It's a little than your usual stuff, but brilliantly written. Well done.
oooooooooooooooooooooof this is good... Like Rachel said, I feel a lot and I'm not sure I like what I feel.
The foreboding tone of this piece is intense! The atmosphere is thick from the moment you read the first line. On the one hand, I never want to be on your bad side, haha, but on the other hand, the confident sway of the word choice commands attention from beginning to end. It’s a unique tone and voice to what I’ve read from you, in a very good way. It’s a piece that commands respect and says “I’ve done it before, I’ll do it again, so don’t mess with me.” Awesome stuff!
I don't feel so viscerally attacked like Rachel...but I do thinkl that Shepard wordsmithery magic is playing a darker hued tune here than first it seems. I felt it was saying goodbye, or burying an older part of yourself maybe? This challenge has really brought out the best in people, though, every single piece I've read has been amazing in its own right. Well done on this, DK!
Mmm. I'm not sure how to read this. It's left me very conflicted. I don't like the message at all. It's like the death of something very much alive because something external demands it. I sense propriety. I sense suppression. The use of burial compounds this and makes me feel claustrophobic. I like your words, D.K. because of the response it's evoked in me but I don't like the sentiment. I want to hear that uproarious laugh!!