Dear Sir Kier

Dear Sir Kier Starmer

It's not a melodrama

But could it do much harm, er and

It might improve your karma

Your critics to disarm, yeah

If you cross my palm Sah

And think about my plan, here

Set out thus in versey

Rhyming lines of poetry

Though some might call it doggerel

Others say it's pitiful

Perhaps it is worth bugger-all

But all the same I thought of all

The others ways to get to you

And none of them I would value

My chance of getting through to you

So please consider this my plea

For you to give some thought to me

As your Tzar of scepticism

On AI's suitability...um

For departmental strategy

Ambitions and general madhattery

You see I am quite difficult

The reason why you should consult

With me before you call a halt

To your consideration

For when I ask a question

Of gov subcontractuation

I tend to be quite picky

And even rather prickly

I ask those awkward questions

That leave aside election

...eering posturation

For I'm not politician

I just approach with common sense

Those places civil service-ants

Fear to tread

And can quite dread

So if you deem it worth a chat

Please contact me

Just like that

And I will help to make sure that

Your AI spending does all that

The suppliers say that it will do

For experience I offer you

Their promises aren't

Worth a poo