Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Are you really out there? Are you really real? I left cookies and milk for you to steal.

I've been really good so you don't bring me coal. Getting lots of gifts is my goal.

I'll like whatever you bring me, even saltines and cheese. If you don't bring anything, I'll cry and sneeze.

I don't want you to forget me, so I've put lights atop the chimney. Your reindeer's will see them too, they can't miss me.

The more awesome the gift, the more grateful I'll be. What I really want, though, is a clone of me.

With two of me running around, work will be twice as easy, I have found.

I'd also like for you to bring a blue bicycle for me too, that would be awesome of you. I'll even invite you to a bike race, I'm already inviting a girl named sue.

I'd also like a gift card for karate lessons. This way I can finally defend myself from bullies, after several sessions.

If you can leave me some cash too, I'd also really like enough money to start my own business. The company will be really successful, and you'll be my witness.

Thank you for reading this letter, your gifts always mean a lot. My mom says bring me some books too, so my brain doesn't rot.

Thank you so much Mr. Clause, I hope you have a great day. Sorry for writing this letter early, before May.

Sincerely,

Alex