Dear Nia.

A Poem: Dear Nia.

Her eyes were like orbs such a deep brown,

that if you looked for too long you feel like you would drown.

She was duality in every motion of her being.

She knew how to balance and that was something I had never seen.

My brown hues watched her; stunned and amazed that society told me that of HER I should be afraid.

She demanded I befriend her — and also her friends.

a group of young black women… only about ten.

The internal struggle I battled inside fighting every false narrative society etched in my mind.

She can’t be trusted.

She is loud.

She has no respect.

If you’re seen with her, you’ll only be targeted next…

STOP.

The lies were cut off, by Nia herself.

Just a smile from her, and the world turned around.

A new narrative began to grow from deep within,

This feels like home,

I’ve never met someone so kind.

She feels like the sun.

When she’s by my side, I can’t wait for what’s to come.

She smelled of sweet buttermilk, cinnamon, and a soft floral breeze.

She calmed my anxieties with a small hand squeeze.

Her smile was so bright it brought haters to their knees

and somehow, I was blessed she had chosen to be friends with me.

— — — — —

A Message: Dear Nia,

You saved me by simply being kind. I don’t know if you remember but I smelled really bad of body odor and cigarettes, I had no friends, and I was afraid to speak my truth for so long. Five things you did for me that I am grateful for every day.

1. You never let me sit alone.

2. You bought me deodorant + lotion.

3. You always let me cry and express my feelings.

4. You never let me get stuck in those feelings.

5. When my cousin told you that we couldn’t be friends anymore you still looked at me the same.

I know your friends didn’t want me around at first. I know your boyfriend would argue with you about how I smelled and how he didn’t want to be near me. I know that you went out of your way to get me those extra hygiene things and teach me how to use them… and you did it without shaming me or making me feel dirty. Thank you for always letting me cry but never letting me feel sorry for myself.

Lastly, I know when my cousin said “You’re Mexican you can’t be hanging out with these blacks.” That it hurt beyond anything I could ever imagine. I know that you had to literally hold your friends back from beating her up; even though she more than deserved it. I know every time you talked to me in the halls after that people gave you hell about it. I know that looking at me the same was really difficult. I hope you know, that I have honored the kindness and empathy you showed me. Now, when my people speak negatively about black women I shut them down. I am not that weak little girl anymore. Thanks to you. Most of all, I want you to know that I am sorry for how weak I was… You showed me love… you showed me love that is beyond this world. Beyond definition and measure.

Despite so many things “I know” there are so many things I don’t know yet. So, I will continue to go out into the world make mistakes, learn new things, unlearn some things, and of course, move forward with love and empathy as you did to me.

I love you.