Dear Girl of my Dreams

Dera Girl of my Dreams

I guess I can’t really call you that anymore

Given the living nightmare that you caused

Ensnaring every part of my life

Eating every part of my will

And throwing away what I held precious

Dear Girl of my Dreams

I don’t understand why you did what you did

I never will

It escapes every realm of reality I posses

Every explanation I come up with

Every little thought that could reason

Not one bit

Dear Girl of my Dreams

You fucking hurt me

You tore out my heart

Threw away my plans

And eviscerated the little self confidence

You helped me build up

And left me a shell of a man for months

To the point that I still have PTSD

From seeing the clock hit 4:28

Dear Girl of my Dreams

Despite everything that happened

All the heartache

And consecutive “far-less-than-” sober nights

And days

I still hope that what you did made you happier

Because that’s all I ever wanted

Was for you to be happy

It’s still what I want

Dear Girl of my Dreams

I forgive you

I forgive you for all the good memories tarnished

For the pain you caused

And for the pan that your memory will cause me

Because life is far too short to hold a grudge

Dear Girl of my Dreams

Make NO mistake:

I may forgive but I will not forget

There are far too many beautiful lessons

In this searing pain

And for that I am grateful

Dear Girl of my Dreams

I hope you get everything you want in this life

I hope you are happy beyond compare

I hope you are happier without me in your life

But I don't want to hear about it

Dear Girl

I forgive you

And I do not think there is a future for us

Romantically or not

But there is still a sliver of me that hopes

The Universe proves me wrong

But until or if that even happens:

I forgive you, please stay far away from me