Dear Abscess!
An Early taste with death! Young exploration symptomatic of Suicide Reflections?
Dear Abscess!
Suicide Reflections,
I've been obsessed with death
since I was 5
I've been alive for 33 yrs,
But for most of them I've been
Emotionally dead,
Early damage
where memories scorn,
A constant reminder of
A reversing of time
That cannot be done!
I shared my first bowl of vitamins
with a neighbors daughter...
They wrote me off
As a difficult child,
Can someone tell me
at 5 what could that possibly mean?
Wouldn't the reflection and burden
Fall on them,
Adults who don't want to be burdened with
How to help a child learn how to grow up?
How to learn and how to lead?
They said I'd never listen to anyone,
So I was left to reach
My own conclusions on things.
No-one seemed to understand
the signs of a child in need,
Looking back I think it was
just easier for them not to...
Otherwise they would have had to
Do something about it!
Heaven forbid,
The Boat is rocked
And someone shook
the social norm?
It was a thing called
Tupperware,
Color plastic...
Never lead children on
By coloring medicine
To look like candy,
In a house with colorful bowls!
It was a big brown bottle
Sitting in the cupboard above the fridge,
Inside were chewable vitamins
That were as colorful as the rainbow.
Sitting in the apt
In New dale,
Growing up unsupervised
In Winnipeg...
I sat down on the floor
With the other little girl
Across from me,
Two bowls
One in front of her
And one in front of me!
I opened up the lid
And laid it on the floor
And started counting out,
1 For her, two for me
until the big brown bottle
was empty,
And our bowls full...
A taste of Vitamins
That would change my life
Forever,
When there was still time
Back when I was only 5.
I don't remember passing out
I do remember the view
Of an Ambulance,
I remember the fluorescent light
The white room
The Cold hard table,
They called a bed?
It was very bright
Everything spotlessly white
Except for,
A few towels
And the big huge Bowl full of charcoal
And my Blood,
Now laying on
The floor
After they pumped me.
Waking in the ICU
(children's ward)
A clear subconscious attempt,
To escape
The World, so very soon?
I guess the answer to this
Will always remain a miss,
As the continuation
of my childhood,
Never the less...
Withstood!
Written by,
Jennifer Cooley!
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About the Creator
Jennifer Cooley
I've been writing as long as I could hold a crayon! Remember writing my first story like it was yesterday at 5. I remember the details of the day, location, time, excitement & where the story was preserved for all time! Lots Born From That!
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Comments (1)
As heartbreak this is, this is a amazing and deep poem.