Deaf as a Whale in Shallow Waters

I asked if the birds and the bees had a destiny,

and if God really had a plan for me.

Because I’ve hopped from purpose to purpose like a frog,

wondering if there is a chosen path, or if I’m simply lost.

Our humanness, our consciousness… does it really set us apart?

Does God have a plan for all this pain? Or is this simply the name of the game?

They say everything happens for a reason—but I feel the aches of reasons that seem like they aren’t coming.

There’s a voice inside me that questions everything:

Did the ship set sail while I stood hesitant at the shore? Did I ever make it to the harbor?

I miss the quieter, steadier voice of God telling me there are no mistakes.

The Divine presence that reminds me of purpose.

But I’m deaf as a whale in shallow waters, longing for a return to the deeper seas—unable to hear His voice telling me:

You are not late nor lost. This is not punishment. This is becoming.

My bitter heart tells me it’s all a lie—

I’m worth nothing more than a simple fly.

We were told this spiritual ruse to keep us afloat in this vast ocean of life— I’m on a sinking boat.

But that water’s not for drinking.

It’s toxic.

And so the task remains: to trust or to sink?

A flicker of hope is enough to spark the match— because the choice between bitterness or trusting in God’s love is simple.

So we sing the song, hoping it will echo to the heart of a beloved— even as the melody feels empty in our throats.

We follow the stars, even when we can’t see them— because we have faith they are there when the clouds are thick and the rain is cold.

The fruit of trust sometimes tastes bitter… swallow it anyway, because it is nourishing.

Smile—yes, even if it’s pretend, It’s practice.

Practice for the day it becomes truth.

Practice for the day it’s real.

The small strokes we make to row the boat forward, despite the waves, take us towards not just the feeling,

but the knowing… that we might not hear God’s voice giving the directions,

doesn’t mean that He’s not on the journey.