Dead Eye

We lived in a forest near rivers and streams

With hunting and fishing fulfilling our dreams

Since she was the “gatherer,” I was to hunt

I purchased a bow and I practiced in front

My wife is the reason I’m sharing this yarn

She recognized early I can’t hit a barn

She wrote in a letter “You’re getting the boot

And I’m not returning until you can shoot”

Her constant complaining was driving me nuts

It started to feel like she hated my guts

I’m hoping her promise, she’s willing to keep

It felt a bit awkward pretending to weep

I’m hunting this year by the Arkansas river

I’ll shoot every arrow I have in my quiver

I’m a “hunter” intending to eat what he shoots

So that would explain all the veggies and roots

Tho I’d love to have turkey or some other game

I’m a holiday vegan cos I couldn’t aim

My wife is still absent, I’m feeling no lack

But if I keep missing she’s not coming back