Dark Night of the Soul

Went to the place society

never wants you visiting

I’m way past partying after nine

Ten o’ clock is now my new midnight

I went to the dark night of the soul

2019 was a year of sacrifice

Doing all the things required to

ascend amongst the hierarchy

Letting go of addictions, marijuana and

pills never helped me get ahead

More I rolled, more I craved

Living in isolation

All my friends with those

benefits stopped dealing with me

Now they’re pregnant

with children, soon to wed

Whereas I’m struggling not to relapse

with NoFap at the worst hour

Soulmate being duplicitous,

despite all the months of buildup

You tell me how it feels transferring to a

new university and you

have to start all over again

Followers drop faster than bees once

there are no more flowers left to pollinate

Ridiculed and disliked for

something bringing me joy

Help, think I’m being

gangstalked once more

Most days I don’t fit in

I stand out like a camel on a farm or

wolves swinging from trees in rainforests

Probably should have

stayed shut about how

many poems I planned for 2020

No one cared after I said 340

Or were they flabbergasted?

I could write that many

Done it plenty of times before so

this is what separates me from

everyone else I believe

So much god-given aptitude and

people like them do not possess it

I talk to myself a lot because I am the

realest person I’ve come to know

Not up for debate, so…