Daddy

“Dad is in the ICU.”

I stare at the message,

Unable to comprehend.

I race to my laptop,

And I book a flight,

And a Covid test.

Two days later, I’m there.

Thousands of miles away,

From my babies and husband.

Dressed in two masks,

A gown, and gloves.

I hold your hand tight,

So that you know I’m there.

You never open your eyes.

I tell you “it’s going to be ok,”

Even when I have my doubts.

I have to be strong,

For you.

For mom.

For everyone.

The next day,

The ventilator.

Tubes everywhere.

You look sunken.

Helpless.

Ghostly.

But you hang on for nine days.

Nine incredible days,

I got to read to you,

And let you listen to videos,

Of your grandkids.

I got to told your hand,

When they told us,

“We’ve tried everything.”

“I’m sorry.”

Your last breath is something,

That will haunt me forever.

Everything makes me think of you.

I miss you more,

Than words can express.

I wish you were here,

To see me get old,

To see your grandkids grow.

But I know you’re here,

Even thought I can’t see you.

I love you, daddy.

- Your little girl.