Crazy Dream

Do you wanna hear something crazy?

Let me set the stage,

as flip through the pages of this journal,

it was November 8, 2010 at 3am.

I was at Texas A&M, with my cousin’s and them

Watching U.T, “GO LONGHORNS,” even though I don’t support em,

but when in Rome right?

From VA to Texas is like a 3 hour flight

but I made there alright.

In the fourth quarter, game on the line, 1st and 3

someone above us started throwing popcorn at me.

He missed, hit this this guy at the bottom of the bleachers

and now he wanted to fight.

And this is the story on how I survived the night.

Now when your 5’5 and the guy in front of you 6’8

you think David and Goliath.

But this mountain of a man wasn’t defeated with three smooth stones.

Just two big ones and a double cross or two.

I push this mountain man back, he falls three rows back

I yell, “COME ON!” To my cousins and them

right as UT was about to run it in.

We make it outside the stadium,

with every A&M fan looking for us

To make matters worse, when we get outside, we stop right in front of their bus.

My Cousin pleads with this group of rowdy fans,

Our cousin plays for your team --

But they only yelled and screamed,

Opting to save myself,

I sacrificed one for the many and pushed cousin in to the horde

began to run and said you’ll be alright.

She called me a bitch, but hey, guess who survived the night.

As we make our way to the tailgators,

I see a little person on the back of a 7 foot 600 pound alligator.

When you see some shit like that,

you have to give pause,

but then I saw Mrs Claus, right as she step into the Octagon.

Not the real Mrs Claus but she was old enough to be,

and the brother she was fighting was every bit of 23.

In a sea of Marron and White,

3 Black guys in Burnt Orange and white

Trying to survive this night are enthralled by this Mrs. Claus flight.

With a right hook, left knee, front kick and a jab

she beat his ass!

Her hand being raised in the end,

She turned in her triumphant rage and yelled, “I SEE THEM!”

We looked at each other, “who us”?

My friend stepped up and said, “I know y’all not afraid of this old biddy, with saggy titties, librarian glasses and false teeth? The fight was rigged l so y’all can run but I got this.”

Then she proceeded to beat his ass like he was on the Naughty List!

Now with two friends down,

In A&M’s hometown,

the tailgators and the 7 foot 600 pound alligator were chasing after us.

UT’s bus saw us and and the alligator

and instead of saving us, they drove away,

I don’t blame them, but my cousin was on the back of the bus flicking us off.

Then I remembered the survivalist motto,

You only need to be faster than your slowest friend,

and I said to mine,

“In the grand scheme, your death will mean more than your life,”

I pushed him, watched as the horde beat him, and the kaiju ate him!

As I walked away into the sunset, I realized I was all alone,

Everyone who loved me I had disowned,

when they were trying to survive like me,

With the sun in front of me, I turned by back to it,

needing to confront my enemies, the monster who wanted me, and this horde of A&M fans led by the Mountain Man.

I stand. Only 5 foot 5!

I rush them. I rush them like a one man army!

Like I was in an anime,

Like I had nothing to lose because I had already lost,

My defeat was at my own hands but now I am taking my life back into those same hands.

Hoping to right these wrongs!

The sound of me going down kicking and screaming sounds a lot like my swan song!

But at least I’ll be with Cousins and them…

then when all hope looked lost. My cousin got off the UT bus.

Her friend got up and began to fight Mrs. Claus

and the friend who got ate, was regurgated after I kicked the giant alligator in the balls.

Now 4 against the world and I like them odds…

Before the final battle can comense…

I wake up…

in a bed, in my hotel, in Virginia.

Still recovering from my crazy birthday weekend!

Highlights play on ESPN

I check my phone it’s 3am.

I say nothing. Let those who are sleep, stay sleep;

Then step into the hallway.

The girl who would later become my wife asked me,

“You alright?”

I said “yeah,” then sat and began to write,

What would be the first entry of my dream journal on that November 8th night.