Conversations

I try to talk out my feelings

Because

I feel a lot

I try to express my fears

Because

I have a lot of fears

But the other half of the conversation is

always silent

and this one-sided conversation will offer

No words of wisdom

No advice

and certainly, no medication to “cure” me

Instead, I close my eyes

I hold them tight

I try so hard to imagine

what my silent friend might say

But I imagine it’s a good thing

I haven’t heard a voice respond

I imagine that means

I’m not crazy

I just wish

for once

I could help myself

I wish I had the courage

to talk to someone

A real person

Could you imagine?

What am I afraid of?

Being judged?

Or perhaps being told I am incurable

So for now

I’ll stick to

my silent conversations

in my busy overworked head

And wait for the day