Coming to Terms

You finally got me,

Called my bluff

Now I’m folding like laundry

No longer resisting though

The whispers on repeat

Tension between us, killing me

Swooning

The way my ears perk when I hear your voice

Mesmerized by those wolfish eyes

Permission granted, do what you wish

Weak in your presence

Aim your weapon,

Squeeze the trigger to your loaded question

Because if curiosity is what kills me,

Let me rest in peace

I submit to your alpha mentality

Let the wolf come out to eat

Freeze, that’s what you do to me

Can you see that I’m pleading

Wanting me to speak, when I’m speechless

Silent but the answer hides in my eyes,

My breath is the only thing you take from me

Fear is my enemy, scared you away

Oops, there I go again…

Allowing another opportunity to slip through my hands

Disappointed you yet again

Please believe that wasn’t the plan

Now I find myself sitting atop of a bridge known as regret

Subjected to intrusive thoughts, thoughts of red

I should see a shrink, but the only shrink I need is this ink

Chasing myself to Therapy’s chaise

Miss to misunderstood

Confined in a delusional mind

Even if I confess

I’m still lost in a mangled mess

Maybe I have a disorder,

So many emotions call me a hoarder

Holding a gun, I mean a grudge

Must be a fool for trusting someone

There’s no strength beneath my porcelain skin

Corrupt me with my kryptonite

My courage is a fallacy

I don’t mean to lie when I say I am O.K.

I just try to bolden it when I am brOKen

Didn’t realize you were blind

Sending you texts, left unread

Or on read

Dismissed or ignored,

I don’t even want to know anymore

Still willing to be your paramour

You make me forget I’m exhausted,

But I’m trying to survive

And you, like a ghost hiding under sheets

You may very well be the death of me

Call up an old friend

Who held my hand on my darkest days

His name is Depression,

He’s been there through thick and thin,

Always got my six

Tired of being bruised by stones and sticks

Learned to protect myself by sacrificing trust

I’m a weary soldier

Fighting a losing fight

Say hi to my demons,

Jezebel and Suicide

Cursed by Temptation’s kiss

Stripped like a tease of these feelings

While I clasp on my necklace

The Hangman’s noose

Thought I could find relief in you,

Like when someone drinks Grey Goose

But, I was unaware my relief was a thief

Place your bet

Feeling frisky?

Let’s play Russian Roulette

You find silence to be golden

I find silence to be deafening

Seal my truth behind glossed lips

My eyes, they just get bluer with time

So, if my absence brings you bliss

Let’s reminisce

Count to ten, hide and seek

Follow the breadcrumbs to my memory

You’d always win the games we played

Tugged on my heartstrings like a harp

But those games gave me a peace of mind

My favorite memory was that you called me a masterpiece

Yet only seen by the black market

Like a secret edition and I’m the subject of the collection

You my collector

Yet I only feel safe in the arms of Depression,

Still, I regret these thoughts of red, what I left unsaid

If there’s a next time go for the kryptonite

Otherwise, let’s bury this like a goodbye kiss

And leave me to a fatal wish, bet I won’t?

Why do you think I’m still on the bridge?

If you don’t have my best interest, then

Let me go like the water running beneath us

Because I felt seen by you, and yet easily forgotten too

Poured my shot with you, bottoms up!

You only live once,

The aftertaste is rough