The Truth Is

I solemnly swear to tell the truth

The whole truth

And nothing but the truth…

So help me God.

As I place my hand on the Holy Bible

I am exposing my case in which the charges are my sin…

I plead guilty, but I am asking for forgiveness from thee

The perfect judge and plaintiff...

So where should I begin?

Starting from what I recall,

I am sorry for treating my neighbors as if he were a criminal,

For unrelentless, constricting his throat, but

In my defense, the truth is…

I was protecting my brother, while feeding my sadistic mentality…

Watching his veins pop out of his neck, and his face turning from purple to blue,

I merely wanted to give a demonstration of an asthma attack...

Because no one mocks death, especially when it’s family!

And even though my neighbor escaped, I pushed you away!

Again, I am sorry…

I’m sorry that I thought you didn’t love the men and women

That the world claims as murderers, thieves and horrible human beings!

But the truth is, I saw that they failed and I wanted their spot

To be the secret ingredient to your plot, I just want to be on top.

Again...I’m sorry selfishness and jealousy seemed to get the best of me...

I’m sorry that when I was in middle school I let the devil get to me too

I let him push me to a different kind of sexuality…

I kissed a girl and just like Katy Perry I liked it...

But honestly, I just loved the idea of love, and wanted to know what love was

Desiring satisfaction from my lust, Instead of from the God who saves us...

I’m sorry for the lives I might’ve cost you…

That’s inexcusable, and unforgivable...label me a federal criminal

I’m sorry that I was in a position that I essentially created myself,

To tempt the neighbor with a peek a boo pleasure…

That one took me awhile to get over from being under the weather...

And I nearly committed an ultimate sin,

The devil said I had lived, and that my life was a disgust to your grace and holiness

That’s when I almost hung myself in vain…

Because if you believe to live is to gain then you are only hiding the evil in your actions...

And I believed that I was a mistake

If I could not live with Him, then at least I have lived with the gifts of the world,

Yet ashamed of my sin...

I am sorry I was foolish to believe Lucifer’s proclamation

Despite the word I heard from the preachers in my church!

I’m sorry that when I was in high school I developed a high sex drive

My hormones got the best of me, unfortunately they still get to me…

I’m sorry that I wasn’t the best used tool in my school, because I was trying to be cool

I knew I should’ve done more, to better glorify you Lord

You see God’s power is my passion begging for a ration of your compassion,

Longing to become your infatuation, an addict of your flirtation!

In awe of why you persist to have hope in me...I feel like I am nothing but a thorn in your side

The nails in your hands and feet, the wooden beams that held thee…

I am your continuous crucifix

I am truly one of Lucifer’s lunatics

Satisfied in a lukewarm body, swinging back and forth in an endless battle of iniquities

That I commit rudely...

I am sorry that I criticized those who communicate to you in weird ways like babbling gibberish

But maybe to them, it is a form of worship.

Once more I am sorry God for my transgressions

I had no right to over write on your script of life…

I just wanted to be the co-author to your masterfully constructed interactive opera.

I’m sorry for all the road rage I display, that is no way to praise nor spread your word in any way

I cannot take back my past, but I want to change, I want to be overwhelmed with the Holy Ghost

To build your kingdom up in Heaven and sing of your praise

I’m sorry that I do not have the most beautiful voice in the world,

I can only imagine your ears bleeding when they hear my horrid shrill

I am sorry for the times I please the flesh instead of waiting and staying fresh

Because committing adultery in your mind is equal to having sex,

I am sorry that I know in the future I will only fail you again in some way shape or form

I pray that you guide me to you everyday

I am sorry to be here in this state

But I’d rather confess and beg forgiveness,

Than to die with cowardice

I am sorry that I don’t meditate on your words everyday

That I lean on my own well-being, and the weak beams of stability I call legs

I am weak without you as my strength

I am sorry…

I am sorry I beg and ask for worldly idols,

Like the lottery,

But again in my defense, the truth is…

My family has no form of currency….

We are getting more and more in debt you see!

I am selfish in nature, and everyday I feel like a cannibalistic vulture

I want to destroy all of my very existence if I cannot be your servant to the misfits

I am sorry when I misuse my hands with violent and rude gestures

When I could be using them to speak to those whose voices cannot be heard,

Or to those whose ears are numb, I just want to spread your word…

I am sorry for breaching a contract I made with you,

I don’t even recognize it anymore, how can I be who you need me to

When I find it a chore to serve the poor!

I don’t understand why you keep giving me another chance…

I am so very sorry my Lord

But now as the defendant I have my own set of questions,

Perhaps you are equally guilty!

How is it that you could’ve saved me from the beginning when I was just an infant.

How come you saved me! Left me in this world of chaos and envy!

How come when I struggle I feel like you left me...like my gas tank...empty!

Why must I struggle in this world, when I could have already been welcomed home…

I don’t belong in this world, I didn’t even feel belonged in my church!

No one sat there and listened, no one even invited me to anything,

If anyone happened to even recognize me it was, “Oh hey how’s Anthony?”

I was an outcast in your own House!

So how am I supposed to know, I went through life doing this and that,

Asking for forgiveness later, because no one wanted to mentor me...

Say something, anything….answer me!

Then one day, someone actually gifted me with kindness

They paid for me to go to this retreat,

It was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me

See I always knew and acknowledged your existence

But that year, something was different

“Here I am to worship!” You finally embraced me, I committed my heart to you fully

Then we danced as if just married in a celestial romance,

So in conclusion, I rest my case

The truth is,

You, God are the ultimate form of grace

Blessed be your name Jesus of Nazareth

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty

Messiah, King of kings and Lord of lords,

For He does not forsake you nor ignore

He will guide you, and protect you…

I swear that I have shared the truth,

The whole truth and nothing but the truth,

With my hand on the Bible, I say

“So help me God.”

The final verdict, I was sentenced to a life of praise,

Where I was stamped with forgiveness and convicted by His Grace

The charges against me, He dropped willingly

Just so that He could comfort me!

Everything about me is unworthy, but I am God’s trophy

No jury or lawyer could ever accuse me of murder

Because He is my judge, and He is just and I thank God for giving us,

A bail bond, only asking in return to Love and Adore He,

To spread the word of Him, and His good news to those who hear,

I never was into fishing, but He made me a fisher of man!

I should’ve gotten the death penalty, but God gave His Son for me!

I have been determined innocent, instead of guilty