COLORPEACE

C O L O R P I E C E S

Green:

Oh mother, sweet sweet mother, oh how we have forsaken thee.

Oh how we have tarnished the earth beneath our toes.

Oh how we have soiled your sweet sweet air.

And my heart sobs at the soft lies lying beneath my tongue

How carelessly and effortlessly do we abuse you.

Sitting on the hill looking out into the soft Tuscany valleys, I struggle to finish this poem. That seems to always be how it goes. Tearing through page after page, journal after journal, for what…dare I ask. That seems to be a problem I often face. I think I put too much pressure on my words. Constantly hoping and praying that the word to leave my lips will be something of an everlasting quote.

But I’ve learned how heavy that pressure truly is. That’s why I find myself out here, every morning for the last three months. My life is simple here. All the noise of the past is nothing but a whisper of wind flowing over my head.

People always ask me why I came out here. Why living in the mountains of Northern Italy in a tiny home alone felt like where my 20’s were meant to take place. And I never really feel like I know the answer, even when I do decide to give them one. But something did pull me out here.

By sheer randomness, I began to get very into colors. Each color became so deeply attached to my moods, my surroundings, and truly, my energy. And with each color, I had so vividly in my mind, an image of a place where I saw myself living that matched the tone and the mood of said color. SO, I set out on a journey to live my life and make my rainbow.

I started with green. Here, Florence, Italy, where I find myself now. When I think of green, I think of many things, but firstly, Mother Earth. Over the years I have come to realize that I see Her in all Nature, and all nature to me I call Mother Earth. Therefore, Mother Earth = Her. At least in my book.

It always seemed so funny to me, the concept of homes. Well let me stop myself, not always, I used to hate the outdoors, despite mine being a Girl Scout. But my 20’s were truly the beginning of a new and improved Starr. I seemed to always find myself looking up. So deeply engulfed by the night sky. I often joked silently to myself about the bond I shared with the night star’s because of our names. My love of Her and the outdoors really hit a growth spurt when I began my morning meditations during my first fall as a college grad. Thats when I fell in love with the morning sky, the evening sky, hell just the sky! I couldn’t seem to stop staring at it, just so fascinated with its beauty. I often describe it as an art piece that changes every day.

Every day you can come outside and look at the sky and see nothing but beauty. I would go so far as to say even on a rainy day, but hey, I’m a lover of clouds as well. When I’m up here in the mountains all I see are endless miles of green grass and lush trees dripping with fruit and blooming with flowers. I look up and see nothing but endless sky merging constantly with countless hues, painting a different picture each day with it’s clouds and stars. And each day I am almost brought to tears by the sheer awesomeness of the reality that this is here for us to see every single day.

Nature ALONE makes me believe in a higher power. Do you know what nature is? Nature is pure chaos. One of my favorite things when im feeling green is to walk through the forest. First soaking in the antiquity of the trees. Some of which have been here for god knows how many years. Recognizing the permanence of these gentle giants. Knowing that no matter what we put this world through, and no matter what happens to us or to anything on this planet. If it all goes to shit and ends, this, Mother, will always stand.

I walk through the forest, journal in hand, water bottle in the other. I pause for a minute, close my eyes, lift my head, and breathe. I hear the leaves rustling with the wind, as if they were breathing along with me. We pause a minute longer and breathe together. I continue on the nature made trail, pausing every so often to gaze over the delicateness of the fallen leaves, or stroke the rough bark of a moldy tree. Silence washes over the space, only to be penetrated by the stomp of my boots and the soft sounds of the animal kingdom.

I find a stump, a real one to beat if I may say so. I roll up a J and open up my journal.

I look around

And I see beauty like I have never known

Chaos and confusion

Made this

Random leaves shrewn about atop you

Haphazard pinecones across the floor

Who put you here?

Made you for my eyes to see

And my hands to feel

Spiderwebs seem to

intrigue me the most

Little bugs crawling up your stems

Eating at your feet

Splash of reds

as if someone fell

With a bucket of paint

Scattered randomly

across these leaves

Tiny flowers

Wherever the eyes can find them

ART

This is art

When I am green, I feel nothing but whole. As I sit beneath these trees, I feel her watching over me. Each leaf, branch, twig, stem, root, whatever, they all have a story. They all have a life. They all exist in our world. We see them, therefore they are real. And even saying that feels hard to grasp in the way I truly mean. But we give love, and we get love, and out here, in all this green, I feel nothing but peace, therefore all I have is love to radiate. Out here, in this green, away from all the deep red’s and yellow’s of our oh-so chaotic world, I feel rich and tangled in the luscious love of Mother Earth.

I feel Green.

• • •

Blue

In the corners of my wandering eyes is often where I find you

Tension clamping itself around the edges of my larynx

Loading high above my head

sinking deep below my feet

You are blue

The hue will speak to you

and you know what to do

You learned it in your youth

It’s time to speak ur truth

When i think of blue

I think first of the sea

And the sky

Often times I find myself with my head stuck in the clouds

The blue hue of the skies washing over my essence

Like the bath my soul always needed

My eyes search for the best cloud to act as my pillow as i ready myself for my slumber against the stars

To my endless canvas

The deepest sea

Thank you

For gracing me with the greatest mystery throughout my day

I will never stop looking up for the beauty you have in store

To the realm i call my home

but so rarely make my way to

The ocean

In my happy place I find myself surrounded by your waves

Feeling nothing but serenity

To you,

You sweet sweet sea

I give to you my tears

Hold them for me

So that when I finally make my way home

I can bathe in what once was

And bask in what has become

When I am blue

I feel nothing but real

As I sit with my toes beneath the waves and eyes to the skies

I feel her watching over me

Each bubble, wave, cloud, star, life, whatever,

They all have a story

They all have a life

They all exist in our world, we see them therefore they are real

And even saying that feels hard to grasp in the way I truly mean

But

We give love

and we get love

And out here

In all this blue

I feel nothing but peace

All I have is love to radiate

Out here

In this blue

Away from all the deep reds and yellows of our oh so chaotic world

I feel renewed

And confident in the luminous love of Mother Earth

I feel Blue