color me mine

my favorite color is yellow,

but i hate the way it looks on you.

resting uneasy under your eyes

and painting a painful mark on the inside of your thighs

where the bones don’t sit right.

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my favorite color is yellow,

but i’m not supposed to like something so bright.

i’m not supposed to find comfort in the hardness of the sun

and the tightness of a wallpapered room.

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my favorite color is yellow,

but for years and years i lied.

i like blue.

i like orange.

i like purple because you do

and we’re fighting

so could you forgive me now that we’re the same?

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my favorite color is yellow,

but my childhood bedroom is green,

and green is supposed to be calming,

so how did i get so fucked up?

and why can't i paint over those walls?

and why does yellow taste like poison?

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my favorite color is yellow

and i haven't eaten in two days

and sometimes i overshare,

but i'm not sure when,

and i really, really, really like the way i look in red.

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my favorite color is yellow,

but i wore royal blue to my senior prom

and i grew up in pink&turquoise&black uniforms

and my parents painted two different rooms brown.

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my favorite color is yellow.

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i want to love without reason.

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my favorite color is controversy.

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my favorite color is ugly

and stark in contrast

and hard to love

and weird to look at,

but it is mine.

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so take me apart and lay me out

until i’m paper thin and helpless.

make me an outline of what not to be,

an example of how life goes wrong.

pick me

and color me mine.