Sue always said she wanted a brother
An older one just the same age as you
I thought it strange, never understood her
Wasn’t much good a big brother could do
Just my opinion but I had reasons
Was reminded of them the day things changed
Far beyond the slow shifting of seasons
When the world we once knew got rearranged
And I first looked at you in a new light
Though the summer sun's glare was familiar
Dull brown leaves below, above green and bright
We marched a worn path lined by sweet-briar
On an ordinary walk to the creek
With loads of laundry and dishes to do
Story written in stains from our past week
You always walked ahead 'cause you “had to”
Your longer legs never matched pace with mine
And you didn’t struggle with your load’s weight
I did mightily but that was just fine
Although the path was neither flat nor straight
But when you disappeared around a bend
I wasn’t alone, Shep stayed by my side
He was your dog but you couldn’t pretend
That he didn’t prefer me, though you tried
I used soft words and rubbed behind his ears
You barked loud as a dog giving commands
I appealed to his heart, you to his fears
But you learned that harsh way from Pa’s hard hands
Holding burdens in our arms and within
Your dark trailing shadow; my guide forward
At the bank we would reverently listen
To trickling water ever moving toward
The distant ocean to find its freedom
And we’d begin the task of scrubbing clean
All blots and marks, seeking to absolve them
Erasing dirt and blood until unseen
And in all the heap of faded fabric
There wasn’t one dress or one blouse of Ma’s
The absence stabbed with grief’s most painful prick
The scent of alcohol soured all of Pa’s
A smell that triggered pangs from old bruises
You finished first as you usually did
Pans less dirty from infrequent uses
Explained the thinness our baggy clothes hid
You laid back in the grass and closed your eyes
Shep kept watch between us, guarding the calm
It was precious respite of exhaled sighs
For our weariness, a chore was the balm
Then with a crack the stillness was shattered
Four feet and four paws retraced our steps fast
Blood, bullet wound, and face badly battered
Pa, with no pulse, became part of our past
It would be on you that I depended
Since that man Pa owed money stopped his heart
The day the silence broke some things ended
But for you and me there was a clean start
Author's Note: This was written for Mackenzie Davis's Ekphrastic Challenge. The wonderful photo that inspired this piece was taken by Paul Stewart.
About the Creator
D.K. Shepard
Character Crafter, Witty Banter Enthusiast, World Builder, Unpublished novelist...for now
Fantasy is where I thrive, but I like to experiment with genres for my short stories. Currently employed as a teacher in Louisville.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts7 days ago in Longevity
Comments (18)
Well deserved placing ✅… just as exceptional on second read!🤩 Amazing tale, beautifully woven around the photo.
Phenomenal job - vivid and atmospheric! Congrats on your placement D.K. 👏👏☺️
Winners have been announced! https://shopping-feedback.today/writers/winners-of-ekphrastic-two%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cdiv class="css-w4qknv-Replies">
I went back for seconds! Wow, DK, this was a joy to read. Like something you'd expect to hear in a pub back in the day or by a fire. Marvelously transporting, and so vivid. I really didn't know what story to expect from Paul's photo; I figured it'd be something on the dark side, but you took so many elements of the photograph that I didn't even register and made them central! The darkness is there, yes, but it doesn't overwhelm the story, just as it doesn't overwhelm the photo. This one feels so much like ekphrasis! Great entry!
Oh my, I love the history and the emotions of this! Really tugged at my heart. This has such a wonderful flow to it that captivates the reader. So much amazing imagery in here!
Excellent work, DK! The voice felt very authentic, and I learned a great deal in such a short time. 'Pa, with no pulse, became part of our past' Loved that line. Things can change in an instant.
This is heartbreaking, but so well written.
So well written for the challenge and photo… loved the rhyme and rhythm!
Had to read it twice, so good. Did not expect that shot!
Heavy subject, oh so wonderfully composed!! Bravo my friend!
Oh my, this certainly was an emotional roller coaster! You nailed this challenge!
This is outstanding, coming back to reading after a few days off and getting straight into some seriously top notch stuff.
So many great images! Well done
Oh wow. This was amazing! I love reading stories via poetry like this and this was just a wonderful trip. A tale of family, sorrow, and even hope. You wrote the emotions so well. This is going to stay with me for a while. Phenomenal job!!
MY word, you can write, DK! Seriously...this was beauiful...sad...with hope at the end...but you managed to convey so much and it flowed so well in poetic form. So much characterisation, history explored, emotions. Just, great. That you got all this from the weird exposure image that also includes our late Jack Russell, Judy, is truly something. Fantastic entry and thank you for putting this image to such good use! Well done.
What a tale so well evoked. Pathos, family, poverty, sadness but an ending with happiness in sight.
Amazing work! You convey emotion and imagery so strongly!
This is brilliant, DK! I love the protective image of Shep in the story and the old school doing laundry in a stream bed. Reminds me of a story my father told of the family dog following his mom in the morning when she walked to the spring to collect water for drinking and washing.