Circle of Strife
didn't say it - thought it wrote it may regret it meh
"oh hi darling,
how are you?"
i asked politely
"how was the weekend away? "
and knowing full damn well
she wouldn’t answer
the ball was mine to play
she folded her arms
and cocked her head
with a gaze to kill me
stone cold dead
i leaned in a little closer
and took an exaggerated sniff
stepped back and carefully
thought about what i could say next
nah was the answer this time round
and i needed this off my chest
"you look like shit
you need a feed
and you reek of stale sex!"
About the Creator
Bren
"It's just a token of my extreme!" - Frank Zappa
"Cause it's all in the heat of the moment It's all in the pain!!!" - Devin Townsend
Centre Stage with the wonderful Heather Hubler
I'm writing it out not acting in doubt!
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Standing While Falling
Quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche "He who wrestles long with monsters should beware lest he himself become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by the meaning he makes of it."
By LUCCIAN LAYTH4 days ago in Critique
Comments (4)
💥Oh gosh. What can I say. I love it when a poem shocks me. 💥This was good. So much so I need to read it again. The dialogue in this was amazing. 💥I can't get over the starting lines. Those end ones, really didn't let us leave, without permanently leaving it's ink on our minds. Simply outstanding 🤗 ❤️ 🖤
It’s time to actually start saying it mate. Sorry to say … 😞
This was deadly.
Love this, but maybe "reek of" instead of "smell like." Drive that shit home.