It was better when I had my head shoved out a window
Nightmaring casually about glass shifting into a guillotine.
It was better when there was tobacco in my teeth
And so much caffeine in my blood my heart beat
To a different tune, a rhythm of want and possibility.
.
It was better when the sky was close enough to touch,
Low and hot like a summer dream waiting to burst.
It was better when I thought if I ran, you would be there
To chase me, hunt me, laugh in between the raindrops
And at the end of the storm, catch me in rays of red.
.
It was better when I planned out the spontaneity,
Ran out of my house like a plague, unable to be contained,
And took to the streets with fries in the passenger seat
Bracketed by thin legs, jean-covered legs, your legs,
Knowing caffeine and salt would get me through the night.
.
It was better when my madness made the world complex,
When up looked the same as down and life looked like death.
Now everything is clear-cut and cold, black and white.
It's a yes or no and I've killed maybe with my own hands.
The world is empty and I am full, bloated like a pig.
.
It was better when I could pretend that there was a future,
When the violence and despair were a fluke and not a feature.
It was better when I could drive far away, lost to the music,
And look over to my best shadow and dream that this pain
Was just a rogue circus moving through, coming and going.
.
It was better when I was chasing dreams like storms,
Recklessly and often with the kind of wild abandon that only
A lack of knowing can feed and encourage and nurture.
It was better before I knew better but knowledge can't vanish
Once it's swallowed and I've gone and poisoned myself.
About the Creator
Silver Daux
Shadowed souls, cursed magic, poetry that tangles itself in your soul and yanks out the ugly darkness from within. Maybe there's something broken in me, but it's in you too.
Ah, also:
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Comments (5)
Lovely and emotive!
Wow. There’s so much in these lines that hits hard
That last line, Silver. That really hit!
Ah yes... the "ignorance is bliss" adage, how true it really is!! Loved this poem SD!! Funny how as an adult someone us can't wait to grow up and now, we'd rather go back to being kids! The irony of life, I suppose! Well done!!
These lines! My goodness, they're glorious! Couldn't possibly pick a favorite from the whole piece but each stanza, let's see... "Nightmaring casually about glass shifting into a guillotine." - just breathtaking "To chase me, hunt me, laugh in between the raindrops" - goosebumps "Ran out of my house like a plague, unable to be contained," - felt this "When up looked the same as down and life looked like death." - woah! "When the violence and despair were a fluke and not a feature." so clever Almost did it! I can't pick one in the final stanza! Just all too good! Fantastic poem, Silver!