Carnival (Kanaval) of One

Something happens, happens inside of me when autumn chimes in

drumbeats and laughter, not here, but from beyond

strike a pose in me, spiritually

i hear him, my dearly departed brother in law

i hear him calling, "Scorpio"

from one scorpio to another, like he did when he was here

yet he is not

at least not the way most acknowledge

walking on land in physical form

he is masked, waltzing through the afterlife- happy

shout out to haiti

i feel it, the relevance, the spirit, all that was

all that is and ever will be

pulsing through me, so I dance, dance in a carnival of one

imitating the rituals of a culture unknown to me, naturally

emulation comes with gratification

a deep belly sigh, an ought i cry, but no heartfelt goodbye

because i feel him, feel him in wind, saluting his honor

feel him in the spiraling leaves, playfully tossing the flags

he is gone, but not quite the way most believe

he is scorpio, proud and strong, well rested- happy

shout out to haiti

i escalate Kanaval, a carnival of one

blending traditions, wearing my surreal mask

of papier-mache, entranced by day, but at night-

music, music inspires me, and so i perform

make shift mind space costumes, custom made

time out from humanity, all the grief, all the pain

space between the dead, idealized logic, times i've prayed

where curses are rehearsed only by the living

while the deceased raises the bar with laughter

laughter calling to me through drumbeats

drumbeats urging me to dance

and so i do

dance, knowing my brother, my long deceased brother

dances with me too

unmasking himself to me as a thinning veil lifts

but i keep papier-mache held to my eyes

honoring kanaval, carnival of one

imitating rituals of a culture unknown to me naturally

so i might know spirit better

word to letter, i dance, i dance for him, i dance for me

happy- shout out to haiti

and my dearly departed brother

...

Author's Note: This challenge entry honors my long-deceased brother-in-law, Rodson, and his home country, Haiti. Never forgotten and always loved