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Car Debrief

a poem

By Ava MackPublished 2 years ago 1 min read
Runner-Up in the Short and Sweet Challenge
Artist Unknown

Safe in the car at last

I peel off one heel then the next

the kiss/hug/bye play put to rest

Take care, home safe now's over with

I pull up my hair

and you know it's time to

cast off your mask, I'll cast off mine

slip into your seat, sink deep, and sigh

look at me

with that tell tale grin

that hook in your eye

and urge me on,

say, You go!

Out with the news we took care to save

in our very own hand

made play by play

list of who said what and

They said what?!

we talk and buzz, roar and rave,

Oh my god, yes! Oh my god, no!

on and on we go

all the way home

you know,

time does slip by

mile by mile

with you

love poems

About the Creator

Ava Mack

Poetry and little thoughts

Boston, MA

www.avamariemack.com

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  1. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  2. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  3. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  4. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  5. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

Add your insights

Comments (37)

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  • Darkos2 years ago

    Beautiful Congratulations !

  • Jazzy 2 years ago

    Congrats on top story and Runner up in the challenge. This was magnificent ❤️

  • Leslie Writes2 years ago

    This time is so special between couples 💖 Congrats on placing in the challenge!

  • Donna Renee2 years ago

    So glad this placed!! ❤️❤️❤️

  • Babs Iverson2 years ago

    Lovely!!! Congratulations on runner-up!!!

  • I thought this one deserved a placement all along! So glad to see you get recognition.

  • Test2 years ago

    Congrats on a well deserved placement on the winners list! This is my favorite poem the judges chose. I love that it tells a story.

  • Mackenzie Davis2 years ago

    Knew this would get recognized!! Congratulations, Ava ❤️❤️❤️

  • Amjad Ateih Dib2 years ago

    well done sister you made excellent lovely work , I love it

  • Joe Luca2 years ago

    Nicely done, Ava. Not easy writing well with restrictions. Good stuff. 🌹

  • Love it 😍

  • Gerald Holmes2 years ago

    You did this so well that I could not help but smile, as your words brought back sweet memories of times forgotten. Thank you for that. Congrats on a well deserved Top Story.

  • Congratulations on your Top story💖🎉📝

  • Emma Kate Gee2 years ago

    The alliteration in line 8 makes me happy. ☺️ Love it!

  • Test2 years ago

    Excellent insights and beautifully written. I love your reference to donning and doffing our masks. Well done on a much deserved top story, Ava 💕😊

  • Mariann Carroll2 years ago

    This is great 💓

  • Kendall Defoe 2 years ago

    Oooh, kinky! Sorry, I may have misread the 'oh my god' parts... Anyway, great Top Story with a lot of truth in it!

  • Caroline Jane2 years ago

    Love the idea about taking off our masks when we are with the one we love. Wonderful. ❤

  • Paul Stewart2 years ago

    Annnnnnnd completely forgot to say Congrats for Top Story!

  • Paul Stewart2 years ago

    Thought I had already commented. Love this so much; it puts the spotlight on those most intimate, quiet moments between the bigger events.

  • A. Lenae2 years ago

    Ah, the comfort and the safety and the intimacy of just being together. What a special tribute, a great glimpse into the love that happens between the events. So well done!!

  • Exactly! Exactly! Love the line, "that hook in your eye"-- hooked me!

  • Sarah D2 years ago

    wow ... thats some story! Read mine as well. https://shopping-feedback.today/fiction/an-irrevocable-dream-about-a-mermaid%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cdiv class="css-w4qknv-Replies">

  • Babs Iverson2 years ago

    Fabulous!!! Absolutely fabulous!!!♥️♥️💕

  • Ashley Lima2 years ago

    Oh, this is so adorable! You've captured a very touching/relatable moment for many, and I believe both platonic and romantic lovers can relate. Nicely done :)

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