Car Crash

I pleaded with you not to get in that car,

I begged you and I cried;

You wanted to save your alcoholic father

from his dangerous driving,

So,

You decided it was safer for you to drive the car,

For him,

I didn't see you come around that corner,

The car was too fast for me to notice,

It was almost as if I had turned around too fast,

When I heard the screeching of wheels,

Smelled the burning of tires,

Followed by a loud SMASH!

It felt like a horrible nightmare,

One minute you were standing on the pavement,

Talking to me,

And in the next;

I turned around to see your body in the car,

Or did I truly see it?

I froze in shock,

Wide-eyed,

My brain, unable

to process what had just happened,

I stood there,

Trying to recollect those events;

The ambulance placed you on a stretcher,

Covered your body in a white sheet,

I'd seen that before;

But only in films when characters had passed

away,

My mind refused to believe what my eyes had seen,

And I thought you were still alive,

Even though I had been told you had

died,

I thought I saw blood trickling down your face,

As your body lay in broken peace;

I'm not even sure if the blood was truly there,

But in my mind,

That is what I saw,

I stood there alone,

I thought a tear had fallen from my eye,

But I was unable to feel it,

Unable to comprehend what had just happened,

I looked in the direction of a field,

I heard you speak my name,

But did I hear it?

I saw your father limp in the front seat,

His shoulder on yours;

That must have been my brain wishing

that you were both still alive,

The mind plays tricks when you're

traumatized.

So now I take myself back to that day,

Where I remember the events differently,

We stand on the pavement talking,

We are happy and walking,

Your father takes my hand,

And you kiss me,

Then you ask;

"Will you marry me?"

The car still crashes,

But you are saved,

And we continue to create the path we paved,

This is not the reality of events,

It's how I want to remember it,

Locked in time,

Frozen in a past that wasn't meant to be,

Where we were happy,

My mind still can't process the real events,

It distorts and twists in my head,

Maybe it's better not to see the real events,

I can avoid having to admit that you are

dead,

Yesterday we were skipping in the park,

We were playing music and holding hands;

Then;

I was taken back to that fateful day when I lost

you,

Remembering the events differently again,

We were both in the car when the car crashed,

I died and you survived,

Now I live my life believing I'm not

here.