Candy Coated

people wonder why I am so quiet, why I'm not loud, why I'm not vibrant.

But if you knew the chaos going on my mind and how hard I try to fight it while putting on a smile to hide it then you'd be quiet too.

Because you see these demons that run around in my mind like I got nothing to prove, like they got nothing to lose if only they knew that wasn't the truth.

If only you'd understand sometimes it's nice to have sympathy when I talk to you then maybe sometimes these demons wouldn't get through.

But I can't blame you, because if I were true to myself I wouldn't be finding excuses to use.

I wanted to tell you how I feel but the words get caught on this candy coated tongue of mine, like they aren't even real, like they aren't even mine.

So comes out of my mouth the same bullshit line, of I'm ok and I'm fine because sometimes I even like to comfort myself with the lies.

But it gets so bad sometimes and I don't even know it that even my poems become candy coated.

Lost in world of raising clicks and commenting happy faces that I forget where the true place is.

Sugar coating my words so they taste better going down while the pain from the damage that's been done still sticks around.

Wanting my words to tear you apart like someone is holding your beating heart then maybe you'd understand a bit of my pain but instead my words just taste like candy canes.

So sweet and tender so I guess you can say even hurting someone with my words isn't even my Forte.

But I guess I could tell you to read between the lines of every poem, of every rhyme but who has the time?

So when you're dealing with words unspoken maybe it's better to leave them candy coated.