Bruises

He told me I was worth nothing,

He ridiculed me and called me names,

He covered my body in bruises,

And that was all I could see.

I spent years thinking I deserved it,

Years thinking a real partner was,

Allowed to hurt me,

Years believing that violence was

normal.

I drowned in my own swimming pool,

Trying to find my reflection;

The reflection that would confirm I

was me.

Searching deep into my soul,

Whilst caught in the cycle of

Abuse that you left me in.

All I saw was;

Darkness,

Fear,

Shame,

Guilt,

Pain,

Unworthiness,

And bruises.

I wasn't me without the bruises,

Whether physically or in my

Mind.

I floated to the surface,

Fighting the darkness;

Scared I would drown,

Lose myself,

Walk around like an empty shell,

Waiting to be crunched alive,

I expected it;

I wasn't me without bruises.

And this is all you taught me,

And for many years afterward,

I wasn't me without bruises.

Your scars and your bruises

Tattoed on my skin, and my heart;

Your scars are my bruises.

Your bruises made me question

"Who Am I?"

"Is this all I am?"