Breathe and Hold your Thumb

She said, breathe and hold your thumb, something we had decided the night before.

Whatever I was feeling didn’t belong here today, I had a job to do.

I was thinking about the august sun, how it’s weaker within the clouds, how the air is thinner, cooler, and kinder.

He said, eye contact is intentional.

I thought about your eye contact, how it was intentional in a different way.

Sleep comes in boxes, it shows up at my door when I don’t expect it because I don’t check my email.

I’ve been talking about narcissists, the impossibility to not shrink in front of them, how inevitable their power is, how smart they really are.

I was unhappy today, unlike other days. I was unhappy, aloud, in front of people. I’ve been practicing that. I realize and understand it feels better not to hide.

Secure arms around you feel helpless when they are temporary, it is a Molly come down.

Eye contact is dangerous.

Watching the direction of someone’s eyes, they fall to your lips without an answer.

I avoid things with certainty, with the promise of running away.

I promise I will run away.