I've decided to break the shackles you put me in. I have been controlled by you for as long as I can remember,
forced to be perfect, to be a star, to be more than the bare minimum. I existed to please you and to be whatever you wanted me to be,
but I know it wasn't enough.
It took someone on the outside to help me look in and remove the rose-colored glasses that had been placed on me by you. Seeing the truth, it broke me,
but I am slowly picking the pieces back up.
I am breaking the molds you tried so desperately to fit me in. I will find my own way and make my own chains that will not hurt me the way you have.
I am free.
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Angel Adagio
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts7 days ago in Longevity
Comments (1)
Those freaking rose coloured glasses are always what blinds us from the truth. Sp glad you're free now!