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Boomer Humor

Get Off My Lawn

By Earl W. PearlPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 1 min read

I came, I saw, then forgot what I saw

I’m “dummer” the older I get

I’ll watch Bob Ross painting, I’m truly in awe

But you wouldn’t know him, I bet

Hello, I’m a “boomer,” I’m set in my ways

I know when a party is done

Today it’s a drug fest, they’ll party for days

It’s crazy what kids do for fun

So here is what life as a “Boomer” is like

I’m honest, so here is the scoop

I’m not longer eating the foods that I like

I’m eating more fiber to poop

When heading upstairs for an item to find

I’m getting so tired of this crap

Whatever it was, it’s escaping my mind

But I’m already there so I nap

I never do selfies, I know how I look

Ain’t texting while driving my car

And who wants a selfie that someone else took

Or updates wherever they are

I need reading glasses, they’re vital to me

My eyes aren’t as young as before

Tho cataract surgery has helped me to see

That I can’t see me working no more

While shopping at Walmart, I start checking out

Someone tooted, and man did it last

I’m turning around to yell, “What’s THAT about”

They scattered from me pretty fast

As kids, after lunch we would go out to play

Today all their games are on screens

We rode without helmets and turned out okay

I’m hating this world of vaccines

I’m still “getting lucky,” I ain’t gonna lie

I’ll offer this nugget for free

I’m sleeping all night and I’m waking up dry

See, “lucky” is different for me

Gen Z’s, Gen Xers, Millennials as well

Keep acting the way that you do

You’re laughing at Boomers so this much I’ll tell

“Soon enough all these things will be YOU”

humor

About the Creator

Earl W. Pearl

I’ve been writing poetry (rhyming mostly) since about 2014 and have recently transitioned to writing novels and short stories. My poetry genres are faith, humor, social issues, politics, pretty much any subject matter.

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Comments (4)

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  • Rowan Finley 2 years ago

    Loved this!

  • Christy Munson2 years ago

    Funny. Shout out to Bob Ross! Woot!

  • Some fun words

  • Omgggg, how dare they curse us Millenials? Lol. Loved your poem!

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