Blood Covered Heartstrings

Pull my heartstrings

So selfishly

In ways that make my heart sing

I can't help but dance helplessly

And entertain your fantasy

It's so lovely

To feel loved

I'm so happy

You're here for me

And

You said you loved me.

Pull my heartstrings

So selfishly

Drive me crazy

The tighter you pull

Make my heart bleed

I'll hide the blood with clenched teeth

And a bright smile for you to see

Because

I know you like it when I'm easy

Just simply giving

Attached to your strings

Sometimes I can't help but grab the strings

And pull back

To try and bring you closer to me

But I know you hate what you see when you're right in front of me

Because

When my pupils start dilating

Swallowing everything around me

Leaving the world black and nothing for me to see

And I begin trembling, shaking everything, falling and knocking things over with my disorder

It's just too unbearable to be there for.

I let forgotten memories corrupt me

Those memories don't let secrets hide from me

Let me tell you

What the world taught me as a child

If I believe so easily

In those around me,

-

Please stop hating

Please stop hurting each other

Please stop hurting me

Please stop hurting us

If you love us

Please

No more

I can't stand the hatred I see

No matter how much I scream

You never seem to notice me

Is it because I'm so small

I wish I was stronger

I see your scars mother

Don't leave us alone

Please I'm trying to save you

But they're pulling me away

Locking me behind a door so I don't see

But I can still hear your screams

I cry and try to escape from their grasp

But I'm so weak

I don't trust him enough to stop you

I pray that you will stay, even if you can't be here for me.

-

Do you understand me?

Liars and manipulators are killers

I will never cater to hypocrisy

I will think of everything

So no one can lie to me

So nothing can be pretend to be

They can't help but leave

When confronted

So brutally

So honestly

I don't care who it pushes away

I will find out everything

I will never hide away from the things that hurt me

I will never be the me

That couldn't do a thing.

Once you see me leaving

Just pull your heartstrings and

Lay your warm hand on my cold chest

To tame my heavy breathing

Get close to me and catch my tears with your cheek

It feels like beauty and the beast

Without the happy ending

Without the good in me overcoming for you to see

I try so hard to take control but this seems to be my destiny.