Blasphemy in A

i drove past a church on the other side of town, an old turn of the century methodist job that has definitely seen better days

it had an angled steel and glass roof topped by a brazenly tatty old cross trying vainly to pierce the dowdy heavens above

it amused me no end thinking of a god peering through the clouds of this drear day from on high and seeing all his sinners lined up neatly

row after row of pious hypocrisy, ‘drop in’ idolatry

but that's just me

i don't get it

i don't want it

i don't need it

and i’m fine with that

or am i?

i read somewhere a long time ago that hell is an infinite series of walls made of people, stacked head to toe on top of each other in dizzying, gravity defying heights.. The tormented cries of the souls trapped forever in these myriad walls are the anguished screams and moans of eternal realisation

i’m not dying or vying

to verify the veracity of this tale

not sure if i’m comfortable

pretty certain there might be a spot in the wall with my name on it

that’s neither new nor confronting

i can see the guilt machine is still working

any peace i had to make was broken long ago

i’ll stand by my plea of ignorance

and hope i roll a twenty my next throw

i’m not evil but i had it in me

for a moment a tiny spark

i was a child of chaos

get of storms and dark

might be a good idea

not to drive past any more

dilapidated places of worship

they say prayer

is the last refuge

of the scoundrel

i think

i’m just gonna

shut my gob

shut my mind

and

come back as a wombat