Bilingual Fantasies
(Please watch your step circa dead/dying verbiage)
The seat of this struggle
lies in an unfamiliar search
for the familiar
straddles tongue and brain
correspondent symbols of passion and reason
Urgency pleads
"Succumb to one or the other"
when presented with new language to learn
I’ve got well-worn tracks
of recognizable diagraphs
diphthongs
dependencies
trying not to hate
but fight to fade
as the unaccustomed
attempts prominence for a time
grips footholds
within elusive cortical addresses
A childhood game of ‘pick-up-stix vocabulary acquisition’
tangled colored emotions grandiose as galaxies
without the right words to express them in
Residence of frustration
because I know
but cannot say
flub and sputter
oversee internal losses
cringe as comprehension disintegrates
embrace inadequacy without option
try my best to seem nonplussed
then experience ‘boa constrictor prey-esc’ helplessness about it
Forced internal pressure after rote practice
and exercises days long seem for naught
Hunger to glimpse a world
not be ensnared by it
except now
there is no path back
words known and unknown
wage silent war for correct enunciation
a near miss
a sometimes win pronunciation
though often thrashed soundly as in
“That was as ugly as it felt”
lips flail syntaxed pre-speak polar freeze
mind mid-epic embarrassment moments because
“Holy crap I know this one”
and neither patience nor persistence
seem like they wanna be my friends
Abandoned hope and logic
digs pit-bull hard
eyes closed
being clenched
screams stifled
stumbles over nouns so bad
that adjectives bruise bloody
when smack dab in the middle of never
a penny drops
one effortless spoken phrase
perfect-timed retort
crystal understanding sans dictionary
and euphoria becomes oasis
after longest
driest
desert crossing I swore I’d never do again
yet still here
a melodramatic liar
failed quitter
messy winner
full of how amazing
contrasted sounds
can suit so well
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Comments (13)
I know how it feels. I was taught ASL when I was 11 years old. I have cousins who are deaf, and they taught me how to communicate with them. As an adult, I was unwittingly enlisted as an interrupter for the deaf who work in the same company as I. One woman said I had the best of both worlds: I could "hear" the "spoken" AND "unspoken" words. I felt so honored that I had that ability.
Fantastic. Congrats on the TS.
tangled colored emotions grandiose as galaxies without the right words to express them in Residence of frustration - ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️📝💯✌️🪄✨ Fantastic Job🌟CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR TOP STORY🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
This is amazing! Loved it from beginning to end-sadly I an not bulingual but I have often wondered how people can do it so seemingly 'effortlessly!' Fanatastic poem! 🤍
Like a foreign language to me. (I have enough trouble with English--though clearly you do not, lol.)
Stunning work! I loved your word choices!
Awesome!!! Oh this line, "tangled colored emotions grandiose as galaxies" Loved your inspirational poem, my friend!!!❤️❤️💕
Lots of great words in there, I did enjoy this
Fantastic wordwork. I found myself getting lost in the emotion and thoughts you were conveying. Excellent work SSS.
You’re just a word sorcerer. Plain and simple. Though this poem is not! Such intricate writing and complexity in the way you weave your words. Stunning. And know the feeling of the bilingual battle, the ideas and dreams getting lost in translation.
and neither patience nor persistence seem like they wanna be my friends These lines were especially very relatable. Loved your poem so much!
Great work. Keep writing!
Excellent