Being an Adult

This is not what I thought it to be,

This is not what I dreamed it to be,

ten years ago,

ten years ago, I had a dream,

or at least I thought I did,

A dream of where I would be,

being 25, alive and living my life,

A direction, a plan, something that I could understand,

where stability meets independence,

I had a dream,

That I made come true,

But now I'm not sure what I am supposed to do,

Get a degree they say,

Find someone to spend your days with,

make a house a home,

find what makes you feel like you belong,

I spend most my days on indeed,

scrambling to find something where I feel free,

and that feeds me,

Bills out way the adventure,

the rocks out way the miles on the road,

each day living on a high or feeling so low,

I don't know what to do in this adult show,

The dreams that I set,

Are not what I thought to expect,

dispositioned potential,

clouding my daily mental,

making me question where I belong,

Confused what I did wrong,

When I thought I did everything right,

I followed the light,

given to us by society,

creating a worker, not a creator,

being a follower not an instigator,

categorized as mundane and mediocre,

Filling my days with everyone and everything else,

and the days I have left for myself,

I am consumed on how I have felt,

I have lost my inspiration in life as a result,

I don't think I like being an adult.