Beautifully Desperate

4/9/18

The classification of beautifully desperate is where I’m grouped

Beautifully...

‘In a way that pleases the senses or mind aesthetically’

Desperate...

‘Feeling, showing, or involving a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with’

‘Having a great need or desire for something’

Therefore I must be consumed with a forlorn imagination

Of a concept in time

That, however, grabs my brain by the nerves

And creates a beautiful piece, right?

Sounds too out of reach for my mental capacity

But it makes sense

As beings we spend our days

Learning to love, ‘kill them with kindness’, depict caring qualities

Sometimes those possessions become dark

They become daunting, haunting

And I’m afraid to say that

I’ve had a run-in with the wrong side

Of the fork in the journey to find love

Pulling at my heartstrings

Either stitched in hope and happiness

Or left with loose, dreary ends

Mine?

Take a wild guess; yes, I’m still searching for a complete strand

You left me confused, broken

You told me who I was

But you were wrong. You ARE wrong.

“And you haven’t been yourself lately”

“I think you need to figure out who you are”

And trust me I get it.

I get that I was

“Being unfair”

I’m taking full responsibility for it

And I’ve said I’m sorry multiple times

But you said it yourself

“Stop apologizing. Clearly it’s not helping”

So what will?

Because I miss you.

I really do.

It’s like you’re purposely tracking a route

Out of our relationship

How did we go from

“Love you” and “my girl”

To

“It’s just not gonna be the same”

I understand that I was being selfish

Putting all the blame on you

When in reality I had faults too

I was “hiding things”

Sheltering what I was thinking

Not letting you in

But, hun, so were you

“And after all that it felt like kind of a lie”

And when you asked for space

I didn’t give it

I didn’t know how to

Because I didn’t want to lose you

But I did

I “reopened everything”

The funny thing is

Is that you said

“It wasn’t even a wound because you didn’t hurt me I was just annoyed”

There’s a thing called fate.

And there’s a thing called learning to forgive and forget.

It was fate for this to happen

I’ll admit it.

But now,

It’s time to forgive and forget.

We can’t dwell on the past

We must move forward.

It’ll be hard

But we can do it

After All, we’re beautifully desperate

The desperate time has come and go

And now we must wait for the beautiful to happen.