Bad Dreams

I dreamed of you again last night

Woke up to that same heart sick feeling

You made me feel when I was 17

You flirted, you touched, you kissed me

You made me feel special

Then you told me not to tell

You were 23, a leader in my church

You told me you were just lonely

You made me feel insufficient

Not worthy of love, only desire

Desire you told me you could not act on

All these years later

You show up in my dreams

A reminder of the bruise you left on my mind

I never did get anything but desire

I settled for it

Two bad marriages full of it

Aching for love, trying to earn it

Never getting it

I think I learned it from you

I l