BACK HOME

The feeling weights down

When holding it in my hands

It thickens itself and becomes heavier by the day

It turns to an uncomfortable feeling in your body

It hurts differently, I do not see blood

I do not feel pain

There is not an open wound

It is not something that heals…easily

Even when the pain is gone

It lingers in your head; I fear it coming back again

It becomes the only thing you know

I like the feeling when I’m alone

Stardust of your life before then,

Stays as such

Never to be seen again

Forever changed, forever unnoticed

Does it make you stronger?

It might, if you live through it

For certain it makes you cold

Look in the mirror and you will see what real death looks like

Behind you? Nothing, not even your reflection

All gone

Everyone gone

And I?

Do not exist

Should I go back home?

Where love is?

Where the house stands,

The one that retains your secrets

Where your worst and most painful memories rest

Your loudest laughter still echoes through its guests

A house,

Pulling you in harder and harder

A daily cycle repeating

So afraid,

Yet so determined to once again walk its steps.