babyblues

did I unreserve the right of having your whole heart

When I gave you a babygirl that grew from a part—

of you that latched to me, directly, erectly divinely it seemed

I felt like proof — black love exists

didn’t have to be so hard,

we were designed to win.

against the devil and that part of you that’s still “don’t let her in!” “Don’t let her in.!”

I’m trapped here

you think this lasts here

you shift into that gear

got me wrapped here

attacked here

this my last year

crying out — mad here.

It’s bad here —

you don’t care i’m sad here

mad I’m here.

Fuck outta here, get me outta here, get outta here!

The last place I wanna be is around you and you’re mad I’m here.

Broke me down out here.

Finally pick up my crown, heads been down so low

blood leaks out from blow to blow

they all know you’re still here for show.

Destroyed you turned the good girl cold.

Overnight you became my enemy and that bitch still envies me.

You readily grew this gap so steadily.

Instead of momentarily leaning into what unsettles me.

what comes after secondarily?

Manning the ship that brought to life your legacy.

when I said could you devour me —

I did not mean actually hourly defining cowardly how I never cross your mind.

Mind you, hypothetically you could respond empathetically but it will unapologetically go on.

first came love — under hazy views came the baby and baby blues.

From there I became immune to your tune and since then there’s been a steady hum in the room.