The answer is no. No, I’m not okay. I’m trying so damn hard to be. But I’m not. My body is on autopilot. My mind is either blank or thinking way too many things at once.
And my heart? My heart is pierced by a hundred shards of glass that I can’t remove. I’m terrified to speak of how I feel. I don’t want to be labeled as an attention seeker. I don’t want my feelings to be invalidated.
But most of all, I don’t want to be asked what’s going on. Or why I’m feeling this way. Because I don’t know why. And I don’t know how to pull myself out of it.
But when I try to tell people that they just assume I’m being a bitch. Or I’m being a typical teenager because I say ‘I don’t know’ in answer to their questions.
But I REALLY don’t know. Do you know how shitty it is to not know your own mind? Your own heart? A constant battle every damn second of your life. It's exhausting.
Especially now that I know that I have people that are there for me. I know they care and that is absolutely terrifying.
About the Creator
Aliana Le Fleur
Hello! I am a college student who has always been passionate about writing! Just trying this site out to see if my writing can take me anywhere!
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