Autocorrecting Thoughts

Rotting houses living side by side crumbling together into a ruinous castle. Every experience of the every day turning into another stone being hurled against this mediocre fort. But only somedays. But only somedays.

Magnificent mansions rising together into a beautiful skyscraper that blesses the land around it. Every smile, every laugh gifting the foundation with the strength needed to get through the eons upon eons of this painful life.

What do you do when your inner worlds are stuck between these two phases? Shifting in and out, switching the genre from horror to drama, from comedy to Hallmark romance. It's tearing me apart, this feeling of being here, then being not. This feeling that one day life is this wonderful rollercoaster taking me all the way to Pluto and beyond. And the next day is going to Hades and below. How do you deal with feeling like you're two completely different people who share the same issues?

Deep in the woods or maybe front and center on the beach. Floating by in the lunar winds or maybe sliding down hills in a desert. Used baby shoes or maybe a master's degree in heart break. Up or down. Left or right. There is no right answer waiting for me out there in the world or here in my room. I am a constant contradiction. An irritating instance. I feel happysad. Angryjoy. Crying while laughing. Punching the wall because it feels good. Screaming for help in the middle of nowhere. I'm a mess, I don't know how to impress myself or anyone. So I'll walk to the woods, and let the wild weeds and animals rip me to shreds. No more trouble sleeping. No more awful feelings. Just letting myself go the way of all living things eventually go. Mors Omnibus. Everyone Dies.