Persistence and other Commendable Things

I wake up, I go to work, I go home, I write, I sleep. I wake up. I go to work, I go home, I watch movies and videos, I sleep. I wake up, I go to work, I go home, digging through the trash trying to find recyclables, I sleep.

Everyday, I follow the same routine with little to no variation. It's been a long time since my life felt like a special occasion. And I will admit, I have moments of depression. Going through the same motions everyday will eventually form a bad impression. A bad taste in your mouth, a sudden desire to go up north or down south, maybe never leaving the house, or simply running off a bridge because I have no spouse. And it is in these moments I think, "Why? Why even bother with any of this at all? Be it next spring or fall, my life doesn't feel substantial or beneficial. It might as well be official. I've already peaked and it's all downhill from here. I've proved everyone right, succumbing to my adolescent fears".

Then the world shows me why the effort is worth it. To improve yourself, to get what you want, to do anything that will bring you peace, you must simply live. You must simply live because everyone and everything else is. People in worse situations than you. People in better situations. Animals missing limbs yet still running through the water, cut down trees struggling to reach the sun again, fungus and bugs reclaiming any and everything. Call it the natural instinct, or the inherent desire, everyone and everything wants to live. It doesn't always get me out of my low funk. And sometimes my apathy is so strong that I don't care anyways. But sometimes when I am struggling to find a reason to get out of bed and go to work, struggling to find a reason to even wake up, I think about that very simple fact. Everyone and everything wants to live, so what's my excuse?