Autocorrect Rules

I used to think that Autocorrect was such a nifty tool,

Always pointing out each misspelled, incorrect word.

Automatically correcting each blatantly obvious mistake.

Giving one more time, it seems, to be a free bird.

But it has a darker side, a side best left alone.

For never ask your child if she wants a PB&J sandwich,

because autocorrect will change peanut to penis every time.

You really do not want to know what becomes of Manwich.

And a late-night text from Grandma seems so much worse

When she says she loves the new condom she bought.

Then Grandma freaks out and sends corrections, of course,

with each correction worse than before, until she appears like a bot.

You never know when an angle will become an Angel, nor

will you be warned when a brown cow turns into a big crown.

And never ask for six sticks because six always becomes sex, or

you could be shamed when you send your son who is grown,

a text asking him for a some chic breast, when you really asked

for fried chicken breast to go with the lunch you were texting about.

It's moments like these that you truly wonder if it's properly tasked,

Or if autocorrect isn't even sure, as if it is in doubt....