At Your Doorstep

Allow me to leave flowers, chocolates, and all the things you love at your doorstep.

I know you’re used to back door tendencies, but I simply want to show you I’m not afraid of who sees.

So please allow me to meet you at your front door and greet your parents

Allow them to know when you’re with me you can fully have a moment of rest and peace

With a sprinkle of reassurance

That nothing will harm their baby. Nothing will kiss their skin that isn’t shea butter , perfume , and well a kiss from my lips

So I have a few questions as we sit at your front steps

When was a moment you felt fully appreciated and loved?

Was there a time you felt alone in a room full?

How are you?

All these questions are for me to know how I need to move to ensure not just you are secure, but I am well and able to endure any of the storms with you.

I don’t want to go around your brain, and look at all things in the dark corners of your mind

I simply want to ask directly how are you because I know you haven’t been asked that lately

I’m sorry that no one has stopped to ask you to slow down and enjoy life.

Stop

Sit

Listen

There are only a few moments like this where you can sit at the steps and breathe for a bit.

The weight of the world has tried to suffocate your chest, and neck to the point it wanted your back to break.

I know you can handle your own.

I know you can do it all.

I know you can

I know you can

I know you can

I know you can

But have you stopped doing what you know and live a little of the unknown?

The security of the life you’re trying to live is great

Nothing will form against you to stop you from prospering.

Babygirl you know that the world is your playground, so let’s go back to the swings.

Swing away all our stress and worries from the day like we used to as we played

I’m sorry that the block has made you stay so hard you hate being soft

You hate having feelings

You hate feeling

Everything

Anything

All that you cannot control

Lets go inside and sit by the jumbo tv and play Mario or sonic on the n64 or even the game cube

Take out the cartridge and blow in it slowly applying just the right pressure

Stop thinking dirty girl you know that doing that was the only way to start the game up

Now grab your controller and let’s run these games back to back.

I’ll move slow with you to ensure you aren’t triggered by my sudden steps with you because every slight change of pace or step scares you.

I’m sorry they came into your life and made a wreck in your home.

What is home training in a home that’s not yours or you’re visiting?

Like my sister says it’s a belt to ass

It’s a you better not embarrass your momma

You know better talks

So let’s just take it back to the basics.

How do you like your coffee or tea in the morning ?

Do you want creamer and honey, or are you a straight black kind of woman that only adds sugar?

Would you like jam and toast with your cup, or just the blinds open to look into the street?

The mornings with you I believe are full of peace, but then I realize this is the only times you get to sit.

So come follow me to the living room

I want to sit in the living room with you one day and watch the news to relax our minds, and know if we should bring an umbrella to the next function.

Slowly, create a to do list that’s not to entrap you in a routine of dependency to me. No, I want you to be your own person.

Because if it was just you and I that would be too much hurting for both of us to

Still

End

Up

Hurt.

I know I’ve been at your doorstep, living room, couch, kitchen, but I want you to know I will not enter from your back door or bedroom.

I’m not a temporary type of lover. I’m the one you have with the oven pre heated so I can go in and then put the meals you made while you arrange the table or get ready for dinner. I want you to know that there are only few options for tonight.

Would you like a soft Prosecco wine

A Merlot

Or something new.

Our tastebuds will be dancing around like the Harlem nights to smooth jazz with hi hats that cascades around the room with us.

Dance with me slowly close to where we are only leaving room for Jesus and the meal you have made for us tonight.

I think that’s why I can’t come from the back door. I don’t want you to be surprised of who is to come next.

I want you to see my face and know that you are safe

This place

This room

It’s only

For me and you

And the community we are creating for the new

The future

The ones that never had this type of

Is it love feeling

Or is it something different

Maybe this is just a movie and I’m an actor and your my co lead

Maybe this never will exist.

I think that is something we all wish.

So how are you today on these steps

Cause remember I wanna ask you how you feel under the weather

What was your question again?