At the Edge

One casual phrase was all it took

For my world to end.

That’s all she wrote.

One sentence broke my heart,

Changed my mind,

Killed my soul.

Let’s be honest.

Like the version of honesty written between us could ever be the same.

You never were...

Like their opinions were the end, the be-all, the beginning.

Going to go...

Like the ideals and dreams I had were all but smoke.

Blowing smoke,

They lit the flame.

Heartbroken, world anew...

like falling off the cliff to see the sky for the truth.

Let’s be honest...

Like, there is just one truth,

And fears and worries never hold onto you,

Duties and choices made out of fear and love, too.

Let’s be honest... like their honesty isn’t a weapon to use against you.

I let myself stagnate for their worries and fears,

Becoming you in the bargain.

I let myself stay when I yearned to go...

Just to be broken.

You... the version of me they shaped, the shadow self ...

Never were’s and the goings too...

I whispered your rules until I forgot my own,

Your shadow stretches over my own.

I held myself back for the maybes and mayhem:

They need me more than I need freedom, I said, as I broke into...

Betrayed and heartbroken, I fall off the edge into the abyss,

Tumbling memories like stones,

Each one a weight, a whisper, a blame.

But I rise.

Anew I become,

Focused on my own dreams,

Building what I want,

Step by step,

On my own terms.