Aspergers

Aspergers

Dis-ease or Dis-order?

Later coming forward, as I did not see,

A purpose, then in brushing with another

A vortex to discovery, repetition is comforting. There is structure to chaos.

Time speeds up following a cycle.

Always overwhelmed, never knew why.

Play one swan sang lyric until I’ve,

Memorised the intimation rhythm.

Rotating hours of day, don’t phase.

Doppelgänger detox. There’s only that.

Thought everyone continuously evolves.

I understood life to be plasticity. A flow.

‘Social butterfly’, skunk sunk duodenum.

I crave permanece, but notice, it’s gone.

Can’t control that new obsession. Riser.

Look to numeric answers, none exist.

More baffle, less driven. Fear derision.

Never intend, to lack comprehension.

I aim to see clearly, but drawn to blurry

Edge proliferation. Soft Verges. Disturb.

Postponement of plans to visit places.

People. I just don’t recognise faces, expressions mislead me continuously.

Plan all realities, consider which might.

Manifest. In process bingo prediction.

Rarely unfolds as imagined. Blown fuses.

I see warmth or coldness towards me,

Only. Can’t seem to digest integrity or,

Intention. Jane said “I only know they,

Want me.” I just know they don’t, right.

It’s written so it must’ve been real. Left.

Overfilled vessels, always indicate to me

A little more. Keep filling. Raises a smile.

“Long tea or short” Grandad said. Dead.

Feeling abandonment, I thought was normalcy. Hiding away, no antidotal,

Surrender plea. Can’t talk in groups.

Well, I can, but the water tables fathoms

Down. I remember chucking stones.

Instinctively know others weaknesses.

Quietly, everyone hangs themselves.

“Given enough rope” Vera said. Dead

Patterns everywhere. Nature, mostly

Hiding. Fascinating Fibonacci spirals.

No need for hallucinations. Rotational.

Loss of rationale, breakdown. Implode.

Always seemingly, wrong. Counterpoint.

Never fail. I see sides, of all arguments.

Yet can’t conclude the truth to be single.

Sided. It’s infinitely facetted. Covet it?

No, there is potential, in every dimension

Not the one I’m currently in though. So.

Doors barred. Locks bolted. Glass is

Opacity. Sand fused by fiery peers.

Were we? Now me. I’m trimming. Their cutting. Soon to zero. Community?

I feel outside in. Inside, I feel without.

Gaze at it all, as wonderments muse.

Can’t be told. Have to burn my own.

Fingers, bridges. Island only now. Diameters Pythagorean dream sling.

Aspergers hymnal chant. A drone to me.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome