...As If Your Life Depends On It...

I might, just have realised

How much I've been sleeping,

Sleep walking

How much I've been cheating

Self sabotage stalking

Thus I say, excuse me!

I've been breaking rock!

A man can't shine his boots

When he is at war

Just sometimes, there's time for a wipe

For a war strike

Just today, I said " I love you so much" to myself

For breaking all that rock

For bruising them hands for yourself

Dare to say I used all the surviving skills stock

Don't think there's anything left on that shelf...

Beginning to understand more and more

The endless cruelty this word provides

Thus, more and more, about the goodness too, besides

It's not even like I am not alive and healthy

It's not like I don't have warm hearted friends

And a guitar to ask for mercy

It's not like, my not existent husband is missed at night

Or even, just this note book that I write

Just one of them should be enough

Surely, the first one of these good conditions should suffice

Erm, just take a look at the clock!

Tick - tock

And there's the time

The memory block

Oh, and there's the blame

The procrastination and the shame

Ah, there's the regret, so we don't forget the bet

You do it again , you drown in shit

Or you just learn that regretting something

Is a growing fish net

So use your own hands to do it

And learn from it!

It's like pain, ladies & gentleman,

Without it you wouldn't live

I know it sounds lame

But if you don't hear me

You won't even have to try

If you don't hear that tick - tock

It will only be one more sigh

Our time in this world/universe

Is an esoteric second

Organically, just a short fart

That, however stinks your soul

And infects your heart

So, I would suggest

Let that fart be long

Cause somewhere in the middle there's fresh air

There are amazing moments to share

That's why you long even when you say you don't care

One day, you will remember and realise

That this lameness that I provide

It's simply because the end is always near

So you must be wise

On how you spent this time and it must be clear

There's no going back otherwise

Lizgonmad

06.11 20