Art Museum

It’s ended wars and started conversations

Creations created

by the ones

the universe created

Everything

From droughts

to waves

of emotion

There were pain and abuse on your paintbrush

As your canvas I was stuck

You painted me black and blue

To you I wasn’t human, I was see-through

An artist you said you were

What you did to me

Had nothing

To do with

Art

Dropped my beating heart into a traumatic disaster

And they wondered why I became a hurricane

Sociopathic, giving you too many chances was a bad habit

Pure Detriment

I’ll never forget

In your eyes was deceit, greed, nowhere near the freedom I desired

In the garden of Eden is where you resided

Always looking from a distance, you were seeking little resistance

And you found that in me

Like the snake found it in Eve

Not a wrinkle in sight, baby skin, young mind, but still blind.

Flowers withered when you grew near

so eventually I died.

What used to receive gentle oceans of beautiful, lovely rain, was now dry.

What rose in the morning wasn’t the sun it was a lie.

A lie

that light is real

that the moon listens to you when you cry.

It was all a lie I promise you.

You were lying

the whole time

deep down I knew.

The sun, the moon, and all the stars gave up on me. I don’t blame them.

When I saw shooting stars I wanted to go with them.

Maybe they could take me to a place with far less of your “art”

Then you framed me and put me on a wall

Thinking there was something beautiful about my pain

Thinking that the way

You made me wilt in my own garden

After you stole my sunlight, oxygen, and rain

was something

that belonged in

an art museum

Something to be photographed and shared by the millions

Like I didn’t already feel

the blues and the purple

Full

circle

The way you forced those colors to bleed into the canvas that was my sanity

It was you who

made me

give up

on humanity

wrinkles are finding their way to my skin, my mind is grown.

But will I ever trust someone to paint my heart with

love

instead of sorrow?

Maybe not

From the first time he saw how easy it was to lie to me, it was over

The pain he caused me could fill up a sold-out show

Empty and barren, I move through this world with imprinted trauma

The oceans released were too strong for me

And though some may call me weak

I got out of bed every day

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have nightmares that held my sleep hostage

I wish I would’ve known

what your “art” would’ve costed

It was a forced, manipulative, and silent auction

They stripped me of my identity and myself when they put you in front of me every time I looked into a mirror

I rose every day trying to wash away the self-hate you painted onto me

The little life I still had left inside

went into hibernation and

out came a new creation

Something I didn’t see coming and someone I never met

They say art is supposed to make you feel something

And I

Felt

Everything.

I could feel pieces of myself flying away like dust

“But you trust me right?”

Like I’m in a dimension I don’t belong in

but you chained me here.

“But you trust me right?”

Like my body and brain didn’t belong to me

my breath and soul insincere

Do you trust me?

No.

Don’t take my trust issues personally

It's not you, it’s the one who hurt me mercilessly

It’s been years.

And it will take more than that

To quiet my screaming fears

To get back

To who I was

Young and kind with so much love to give

Young with a heart of innocence

With an abundance of the benefit of the doubt

Before I met you.