Arising

I'm human at first

And always will be human till the end

It was the year 2000

I am 3 years old

I want

Oh

Ah

Uhh

*cries*

Limited words in

My word bank that I only say

Mama and dada

Other than words, I

Scream, point, cry, wave, coo, beat, utter

Speaking my mind out

Like a masterpiece

Showing at theatres near you

Expressing myself

Don’t know Asperger

But I have his spectrum

Disorder in me

The doctor called it

ASD, when explaining

To Mak and Bapak

It was the year 2001

I am 4 years old

I stack

I shift

I stack

I shift

Stack

Shift

Stack

Shift

Until it reveals a very neat display

#Perfection

Play

Laugh

Rewind

Repeat

Play

Smile

Rewind

Repeat

Rewind

Repeat

Rewind

Repeat

1 2 3 4

Whenever I enjoy a moment

Like watching my favourite cartoons,

Or learning the dance choreo from MVs

I replayed it over and over and over

5 6 7 8

Again

And again

And again

And again

And stop

Until

There is

Something new and interesting

To enjoy

It was the year 2002

I am 5 years old

To treat my speech delay from young

I went for speech and drama classes

I enjoyed the classes as I can express openly

Giving my imagination a great status

I was a lion roaring proudly

Running across the fields in Africa

I was a daisy blooming beautifully

With flowers of sorts in North America

It was the year 2015

I am 18 years old

Mak revealed the truth about me having ASD

After a long and stressful day at school

My mind got more stressful with curiosity

Like thousands of puzzle pieces all jumbled up

My thoughts went like

“Does that explain me rewatching cartoons over and over?”

“Is that why I can’t make friends?”

“How does the speech and drama classes help in my speech?”

“Does ASD make me feel less of a person?”

“Am I normal?”

“Am I thinking too much, like now?”

I pictured my social life

With good close friends

Like the Teletubbies and

Winnie the Pooh and friends

But it’s not always sunny and bright

In the real world with witches and goblins

People come and go in my life

Whether they’re good or bad people

But still I forgive them all

Having difficulties living in reality

Than in my cheerful fantasy world

Gives me great pain in my heart and mind

That I laid on the floor furled

In depression because not all things can go my way

I find it hard to adjust to new atmospheres

But with perseverance, step by step,

I use my flaws as advantages

And lessons to move on with life ahead

I took advantage on repeating,

As a way to memorise

Words like scripts for plays

Or lyrics to sing out loud tonight

My treatment to ASD

I just need good company,

A positive mindset and resilience,

And others to accept people like me

As humans, creations of God

Because

I'm still human

And always will be human till the end

Arising