approaching the finish line.

Is this truly something that I do not want?

Or is it just scary with the vicinity to you it will bring me?

Looking back, this is the most perfect position I could’ve asked for. I yearn so much in this moment for the knowledge that would make me the ideal candidate. I am well set up now, but in an odd way, I would like a guarantee. No matter, I put my best foot forward and threw my hat into the ring.

In this piece, I give it up. Here, as I write, I give into fate and let her tell me for which I am better suited. I cannot make this decision with you sitting in my mind.

A month ago, this would’ve been the most beautiful thing, and I would have turned down any opportunity to have this chance. But, from where I sit now, I feel myself unsettled, extremely unsettled.

It is my dream job, in a location that has been at the foundation of my happiness my whole life, until now. I should be weeping with excitement. Instead, I approach as any rational being might weigh out a job opportunity – but they have the luxury I do not. They are able to make this decision void of you.

Up to fate it must go or drive me crazy it will.

I have hoped, wanted and prayed for this moment.

Time to see if it has done the same.